Forgiveness or Reconciliation
To answer, we know any good relationship requires trust. We must have confidence, or a firm belief in the character or truth of someone else. This means we can depend on them. At the very least we can depend on them doing their best. Most of all, we need to know that “we” are on the same side.
Therefore, without a sincere apology, or a sincere effort to be trustworthy, it seems an ongoing trusting relationship is impossible. And because this seems to fall short of Jesus’ call to “love one another,” we need to understand the nuances of this discrepancy.
Jesus talked about this very thing when he said, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector (Matthew 18:15-17).
It’s critical to know that Jesus still wants us to love and forgive the “Gentiles and tax collectors.” Perhaps another way of saying this, is that Jesus still wants us to love those all around us – including people who do not share our faith. He wants us to love our neighbors the way the good Samaritan loved the man who was beaten and left for dead on the road to Jericho. This means Jesus wants us to be helpful to others, encourage, pray for, and treat others with respect and dignity. And, yes, he wants us to keep on forgiving. . .
But it is simply common sense that we’re not going to entrust ourselves to, nor enter into a trusting relationship with someone who refuses to be trustworthy and does not want to be on the same team. Keep on forgiving – yes. But without true repentance – taking a good relationship to heart – there cannot be trust – therefore there cannot be reconciliation.
Think of it this way in our relationship with God: We have been forgiven when Jesus died on the cross, but we cannot be reconciled with God until we come to him in true repentance. In the same way, we can offer true forgiveness to someone else, but we cannot be reconciled with them or have a trusting relationship with them until we are truly repentant for hurting them, or they are truly repentant for hurting us.
Perhaps this is why some Christian denominations call it the “sacrament of reconciliation” instead of the sacrament of forgiveness. Jesus has already forgiven us. The question of being reconciled with God depends upon our willingness to come to him with true repentance and a desire to do better.
When both parties have an attitude that says these things, this is when reconciliation can happen:
- “I want to be in right relationship with you”
- “I never want to hurt you again.”
- “I will always want the best for you.”
- “I want to always be trustworthy for you.”
Sometimes navigating through this life can be confusing. Forgiving, forgetting, reconciling, focusing on not being wrong, wanting to be right or be in right relationships. . . All these issues are complicated. But when we get these ideas right, wow can we have freedom! Incredible, over the top freedom. Picture an eagle flying with outstretched wings – that kind of freedom!
That’s why we want to bless you with our amazing book, “Why Wait To Be Happy?” There is absolutely no time to waste – not even one day. This book will guide you through the big questions and issues that Satan tries to destroy us with, by presenting Satan’s lies followed by God’s solution to those lies. And we want to give you this book for free as a PDF or an audio book – right here on this website.
Jesus wants you to live your life abundantly. There is NO MORE TIME to waste in anger, unforgiveness and brokenness. Why Wait to be Happy indeed!! Get started today!
