Why is it so hard to forgive and so easy to be offended?   When someone has deeply offended us, it is easy to play the song, Poor Poor Pitiful Me over and over again in our heads as we focus on our hurts and insults.

Being easily offended is one of Satan’s favorite ways to steal, kill and ultimately destroy us and our relationships. Consider what happens inside us when we choose to hang onto this spirit of offense:

First, we stop trusting others as we say, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”  Then we withdraw from the people who offended us, and they in turn withdraw from us as we build our walls higher and higher.  Pretty soon, we become consumed with proving we are right, and we focus on how others are wrong.

Of course, this leads us to deciding that we are entitled to judge the ones who offended us and concentrate on our differences instead of our similarities.  To top it all off, we justify our right to be angry instead of being in right relationships.  Having a “spirit of offense” leads us into isolation and Satan laughs when we are offended because he knows the Bible says the truth: “An offended man is more unyielding than a fortified city” (Pro 6:19).

Wow!  A fortified city.  Big impenetrable walls.  Strong towers of anger.  Arrows pointed and ready to fly.  Hot tar positioned to pour down on anyone who would dare climb that wall.  No wonder Jesus says that Satan tries to destroy us – something far worse than killing us.

Being offended is a common experience for all of us. The world’s solutions of “know your rights” and “don’t answer their calls” only lead to more and more isolation as we vainly search for “other perfect people” who are truly impossible to find. Even if we think we have found them, they too will disappoint us. . . It’s just a matter of time.

Now take just a moment to remember the last time you were really offended.  Ticked off.  Wronged.  Misunderstood.  Taken advantage of.  Super offended.  Remember how that offense and choosing to be offended filled your mind? How it consumed your emotions?  Yes, the stench of offense can even fill our lungs so we breathe it and even dream it.  And worse, we envision getting even instead of living peacefully.

So, how do we overcome this? How can we stop being offended so that we can live life surrounded by imperfect people – because aren’t we all imperfect? Well, the apostle Paul offered a life changing solution: “Live in kindness to others and choose not to be offended.” That may sound simple and trite, but these are some powerful words considering Paul had been stoned, flogged, ridiculed and repeatedly imprisoned (Thes 5:13).

Yes, Paul simply says, “Choose not to be offended.” Instead of being offended, be kind.  Forgive. Forgive right away!  Be a champion forgiver.  After all, we have been shown a whole lot of kindness and forgiveness from God.  “Choose not to be offended.”

So what happens next?  Here is the whole secret. . . When we choose to let go the spirit of offense, we avoid a lot of anxiety.  We escape it.  Evade it.  Avoid it.  Notice how the word void is inside the word avoid.  So, when we avoid anxiety, a big empty hole is left.  And guess what will fill that void:  The peace of God.  It is a peace that is beyond understanding.

Paul says it perfectly. . . “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”  Phil 4:6.

Let’s choose not to be offended. Let’s choose to not let the enemy or other people steal away our peace. Let’s ask God to help us see the best in others instead of the worst. When we pray for others, let’s make note of their good qualities and ask God to help us see them the way he does.