There are many fantastic parenting books and videos that can help us learn how to stop yelling at our kids.  They include ideas on relationship building, dealing with stress, emotions and more.  

But what if there was one step – just one easy step that could make a big difference for you?!  What if it could help you to stop yelling at your kids every time you wanted to?  Let’s discover that step right now!

First, let’s put ourselves in the middle of an imaginary battle scene. . .  Your children are fighting in public.  Maybe they say something deliberately hurtful, or they simply refuse to listen.  Your emotions become charged.  Worse, you may be tired, overwhelmed and overworked.  Do you feel the tension?  Okay quick – tell me how are you going to react.  Do you yell, swear, get mad or make an ugly face?  Quickly, quickly now!  How will you react? What will you do?

Believe it or not, hidden in that question, was your answer.  The answer is so close to your face you cannot possibly see it unless you take a few steps back.  To show you what I mean, picture two football teams lined up, nose to nose against each other.  When the ball is snapped, all players quickly, instantly crush together in a frenzy.  It’s like the battle scene with your kids.  The tension is high.  But the quarterback takes the ball, and steps back, one, two, three steps away from the fray to assess the situation – before he makes his play!

A great quarterback doesn’t charge ahead into the fray.  He doesn’t panic, react quickly or quickly respond.  Instead, he steps back, assesses his options and chooses which play to make.  Can you see how your game would dramatically change if you took a moment to step back before making your play?  

When you take that step back, you are using motion to change the scenery.  Instead of being IN the picture, or having the picture right next to your face, the step back allows you to look AT the picture.  That motion gives you the ability to change your emotion!

Perhaps you’ll want to try one of these emotion changing strategies:

• Say out loud, “Dear Jesus, help me love my kids the way you do.”

Either way, we choose to step back long enough to ask Jesus for help.  We step back to see the picture.  We step back and see the open receiver.  We step back before making our play.  And in the process, we stop yelling.  We also model a great strategy for our children to someday follow.

Being a great parenting quarterback takes practice but as you become better and better at using motion to change your emotions, everyone on your team will be a winner.  You will win.  Your spouse will win.  Your children will win.  It doesn’t get much better than a win, win, win situation!