Betrayal is like being stabbed in the back by someone who is hugging you.

Feeling betrayed can bring shock, grief, self-doubt, a terrible sense of loss, anger and more.  Beyond the initial hurt, betrayal can cause us to lose the ability to trust other people in the future. Betrayal raises deep questions like, “why did this happen,” “how did this happen,” and “what kind of person would do this?”  Hard questions without easy answers.

Many of us have lived through the shock and dismay of being utterly betrayed.  Through anger, tears and wonder, we shake our heads in disbelief as we re-live events that still hurt as bad as when they were new.  Betrayal is rough and raw.

Three thousand years ago, King David’s repeatedly struggled with betrayal.  His own son, Absalom, even chased him from the throne and tried to kill him – talk about treachery!  

I’ll bet we can all relate to these words from David as he cried out, “For it is not an enemy who insults me; that I could endure. It is not a foe who rises against me; from him I could hide. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion and close friend. We shared sweet fellowship together; we walked with the crowd into the house of God” (Psalm 55:12-14). And then comes the bitter cry that so often accompanies betrayal: “Let death stalk my enemies; let the grave swallow them alive” (Psalm 55:15).

No wonder the book of Psalms is one of the most read books in the world.  As a little Jewish boy, Jesus would have studied and memorized the Psalms.  Psalm 41, another tale of betrayal, must have penetrated his heart, knowing this was written for him.  Knowing how he would someday be betrayed to his death by a close friend.  It’s no wonder Jesus quoted Psalm 41 when he said, “The one who eats my food has turned against me” (John13:18).

There is no doubt, betrayal can be the worst of hurts.  Yet if we are honest, we know that we betray God even after we break bread at the Lord’s table – the same way Judas did.  We betray him when we are deliberately disloyal and untrue to Jesus.  We betray Jesus and we abandon him and choose to sin. We deliberately choose to gossip, choose anger, impurity, entitlement or selfishness.

Yet in all of this, Jesus still forgives us.  As the mockers and scoffers whipped, nailed, tortured and crucified him with all the cruelty they could find, Jesus still said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). That’s because his grace, mercy and love are still bigger than our sins.  All of them.  No matter what you have done, and no matter what someone has done to you.  And this is why we too, are called to forgive.  

Jesus is not telling you to ignore your emotions.  He’s not telling you to go back for more hurt and betrayal.  But he does know what will free your heart.  That’s why he said, “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28).

Yes, Jesus knows what will free our hearts.  Don’t let betrayal be your bondage when forgiveness offers freedom.