Unforgiveness is the opposite of forgiving.  It’s holding onto an offense and never letting go.  Unforgiveness has been an overwhelming and universal problem that transcends culture and history.  It is such a big deal that Jesus even addressed it in his prayer, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.”

Unforgiveness is like a poison pill that we swallow, while hoping the other person dies.  It is a bitterness that can consume families where a child does not forgive a parent or a parent won’t forgive their child.  Spouses become ex-spouses because of unforgiveness.  Nations even go to war against other nations as unforgiveness breeds contempt.

Just like all of us, there are people who have deeply hurt me or someone I love.  Even though I’ve prayed for them and asked God to forgive them, I sometimes find myself lingering in resentment and unforgiveness.  To be honest, sometimes they still make me so furious, that I secretly want to see them punished, and I’ll bet this happens to most of us.

The Bible has a lot of stories about unforgiveness.  Some 3000 years ago, after Jonah spent three long days inside a whale, he miraculously got a second chance to preach God’s message.  So, he went to his sworn Assyrian enemies who lived inside a truly wicked city of Nineveh andpreached exactly what God told him to preach, “Forty more days and Nineveh will be overthrown” (Jonah 3).

But when we read carefully, we see unforgiveness brewing hot inside Jonah.  The problem was that Jonah hated the Assyrian’s so much that he enthusiastically preached his message and couldn’t wait to see Nineveh destroyed.  In fact, he even climbed a hill that overlooked Nineveh to watch the destruction… To watch hail or fire or an earthquake swallow up Nineveh.   And when it never happened, Jonah was so furious with God, that he even told God he wanted to die. Just reading his story makes me wonder how many times in my life that I’ve been so angry and consumed with unforgiveness.

Yes, Jonah wanted God to punish them.  Destroy them.  To bring the hammer down.  But instead, when the people of Nineveh repented, God in his mercy, chose to forgive them.  Unbelievably to Jonah, God gave them grace.

So what does all of this have to do with us, in our modern, fast-paced and busy world.  I guess we could start by saying thank you to God for giving us his grace.  You and me.  Just imagine all the times that we sin with selfishness, entitlements, lack of gratitude, anger or impure thoughts just to name a few of our biggest flaws, yet God has forgiven us.

In fact, instead of bringing the hammer down on us, God brought his son, Jesus, down to earth – not to tell us, but to show us in the flesh, just how much he loves us.  How much grace he has.  How much he has forgiven us.

God’s mercy and grace.  It is so undeserved.  We take it for granted.  We forget.  But we know so much more of God’s grace than Jonah or Nineveh could ever begin to know, simply because we know about the amazing grace of Jesus. No – the hammer did not come down.  But grace sure did.  

Perhaps, when we realize God’s grace and forgiveness in our own lives, we can somehow have the courage and strength to extend it to others.  Someone once said, “It takes a big person to forgive and forget.  It takes a bigger person to apologize.”  Talk about grace.